Tea House Theatre

Winner of Time Out Love London Awards 2014, 2016 & 2018!

We are based in an old Victorian public house that opened in 1886 on the site of the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens; immortalised as the ‘Vanity Fair’ in Thackeray’s eponymous novel.

We serve some of the best loose leaf teas available, proper sandwiches and homemade cakes; not to mention the best full English breakfast in London. Our teas have individual subtle flavours which would be overpowered by the instant, coarse, hit of coffee, so we do not sell it.

We make our own marmalade and jams, all for sale by the jar and all our teas can be bought by the ounce. Our meat comes from our local butcher and our fruit and vegetables from the local market gardens around us.

We are trying to be different. We will not hurry you. If you visit us on your lunch break, then have one, you will be more productive in the afternoon. If you want to have a meeting, we will not disturb you. If you are ‘working from home’, we have wifi. If you have children, we have highchairs, a chest of toys, and milkshakes. We always have the daily papers, so please, relax, and share in what we are trying to create, take a load off, and have a cuppa.

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The Queen of the Paris Cabaret Saves Christmas & Stuffs the Millennial Goose

The Internationally renowned Tea House Theatre Christmas Show returns home 14th – 16th December.  Fresh from a tour of Las Vegas, Paris, Manchester Arena and repeated visits to London. This magnificent, magical, musical satirises the millennial generation and their Christmas hating nonsense.  We will trigger their feelings, ignore their howls and bathe in their tears.  


With Father Christmas under threat of destruction by corporatist forces, hell bent on creating a truly secular Winterville, destroying his reputation and turning Christmas Eve into a day of super profits, the magic of Christmas is truly under threat.  What is a jolly, friendly old man to do?

The Queen of the Paris Cabaret has the booking of her life.  A huge concert at the North Pole to entertain Father Christmas and his elves.  Why does she always end up in the middle of so much trouble? Can she not just put on her show?  Can she save Christmas for everyone?


Satire, songs and stuffing abound.  All your favourite Christmas songs, raucous belly laughs and a sumptuous, four course, Christmas dinner in the delightful surroundings of the Tea House Theatre, Vauxhall.  What more could you possibly want for Christmas?


Christmas Dinner Theatre. Sit and enjoy your Turkey, while our fantastic cast give it some gravy.



You will be treated to a glass of mulled wine on arrival, Roasted Chestnuts and crackers on the table



Classic prawn cocktail with iceberg lettuce and Marie Rose sauce


Roast chestnut & black pepper soup


Free-range roast turkey served with goose fat roast potatoes, pigs in blankets, roast carrots, roast parsnips, sage & onion stuffing, Brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce, and traditional gravy


Nut roast and wild mushroom gravy served with all the trimmings


Traditional Christmas pudding served with brandy butter, lit at your table

and mince pies to share


Tickets available here or through our box office on 020 7207 4585


Dinner and a Show £40

Show Only £20

Book the tickets here